Picture this: Me scared to death. How can you when you may not know me? Well, here is a little tidbit about me. One on one, or even two, I am hilarious, sarcastic, and witty. I mean you really can’t shut me the hell up.
Screen Shot 2015-12-10 at 12.11.28 PMThat is not the me the people who came to the 1st Annual Community Writers Who Love to Read Books signing and reading this past weekend met. Nope, they met the “Oh crap, I’m getting ready to read from my erotic debut novel” version of me.
I thought I found the section I could read from, but second guessed myself a million times only to come back to the section I started out with. Of course, I get to read after a well-tuned poet and a woman who has been writing for more than three decades! 
I’m a writer.
When I saw the kids being ushered out and a couple of adults that would rather not share in a captive erotica story scoot out too, I knew I was next. My heart attempted to escape from its very secure location in my chest; my stomach was swimming with butterflies! Sure I wrote this book, but reading it aloud is not my thing. 
I’m a writer.
I’m a writer.
Screen Shot 2015-12-10 at 12.11.14 PMI made my way to the podium thinking: How in the hell am I going to read from the book and hold the microphone that was missing its much-needed stand? Great.
I stumbled, and I mean stumbled, over my introduction about who I am and how I became a writer. Any eloquence I may have one-on-one was GONE. I’m talking uh, um and uh again. But then something happened to me. I looked up at the intimate crowd and realized that without my glasses most of their faces were more or less a blur. Yay! I also realized that once I started reading, I could lose myself in my words. When the challenging words like fuck and cock came up, I told myself just to go for it, and I did! Sure I turned a pleasant shade of pink and red, but I read it all. And by the way, I began to notice the bodies move an inch or two forward as I read and I knew they were intrigued!
I’m a writer and I survived my first public reading, but I need a lot more practice!